My Beautiful Wife

Yeah, I married up. She's been a means of grace for 7 years and counting.

My kids

The greatest challenge I face is raising these three well. How I love them.

My Passion

This is how I live out my discipleship.

My New Obsession

Getting healthy and making this part of my motivation.

My world

It's real and it's coming. My thinking and hopefully my living is built around the fact that He is alive.


Familiar place

Its that old familiar place.  I've run hard,  done as much as my body, mind and heart can handle without causing me to flat out fall apart.  So I'm back in this place of just resting within the presence of the Creator and perfector. 

And I'm at peace.  No guilt at not doing it more often, no shame in my exhaustion, but thankful for the opportunities to have been used for Divine glory.  Of course, my imperfections and sin rear their heads and cry out how unworthy I am to enter into the presence of the King, but just as quickly Christ comforts and covers me in his grace and blood setting me free. 

Thankful for the ways Jesus will continue to dwell within, perfecting me and carrying me thru being used and keeping me focused while I run.  I keep saying that November is coming and rest will happen then.  Truth be told, rest will happen as I abide in Him.  So, while I run...I will abide.


True Song

I sat there in the front pew on Friday morning; i was the only one in the church so I went ahead and wailed away on the guitar and sang.  After playing a few songs I go back to one of the first songs I learned.  April Showers by Caedmon's Call.  Why'd I learn that one?  Well, it had a tab and chords which involved picking and strumming and if I could play that song, well then people would be impressed because I could do both in one song.  As I played that song, those same thoughts re-entered my mind as I wondered if anyone would come in the church, hear me play and be impressed...

...yes, i crave praise like that...

...and that's when I heard it.  Not an audible voice, but this whisper that said.  You can't play the guitar.  Oh,
you can fake it, and you've figured out some of the tricks to play the right chords and such with some fancy palm muting and whatnot...but you really can't play the guitar.  You don't know any kind of music theory or anything and if, IF a jam session were to erupt and you were called on to play from'd be without.

And as quickly as my guitar skills were humbled, so was my faith...and you better not let your faith become that either.  If you think an ability to play the 'right chords' to make the 'right sound' is music to My ears...then you don't know my song very well.

 - Do I have your heart?

I sat quiet.  humbled.  ashamed....

 - Well, do I?  Do I have your heart?

Oh, how I want You to!  Lord, I want you to take my heart!

 - That's not how this goes.  I'm not taking it.  You know that.  Do I have your heart?

Lord Jesus, yes, please!  Take it, take it, take it...

 - Would you let it go?  Do you trust me?  Do you trust me to teach you how to play my song?

Oh, to play the song of the Most High.  That the life and breath of God would flow through me as melody and harmony in perfect sync drawing all hearts to Him.  Do we do what we have to do to look like we think we should...or does He have our heart?

Here's my heart.  Make it yours.



80 years.  At 33 years of age, I cannot even BEGIN to fathom what 80 years looks like.  The dramatic shifts in culture and experience alone is massive.  Today is one of my biggest hero's birthday.  80 years old.  That's crazy.

The impact this man has had in 80 years is immeasurable this side of glory.  I've heard the stories, I can actually say I sat on his knee while he told some of them.  I sat in the pew while I witnessed some of the stories, I've read the pages of the book where he has shared some of these stories...and I sit back in awe of the massiveness of Jesus in this man.

There is one human being on this earth whose words would cause me to stop exactly what i'm doing, take notice and respond (not including my wife, of course).  There is one human being who could tell me, "The Lord says..." and I'd probably not even question it.  I would do anything to be half the man he is.  I'm so thankful to be in Portland, I love my city, I never want to leave.  But one of the hardest things about being out here is that I can't sit face to face with this man all the time and ask him to teach me, disciple me.  Let me learn life from you.  I hate that my kids don't know their Pop-pop and Gigi better.

Even as I sit in this coffee shop, I wish to be sitting at his kitchen table, joining him in prayer for our family, for the church, for anyone who comes across his mind or whose face is on their fridge.  I wish to watch him love the stranger that comes across his day; no matter their race, culture, belief, or lifestyle.  I wish to hear him unfold the mysteries of Christ that my mind is to small to fathom.  Tears of thankfulness fill my eyes as I rejoice over sharing his last name.  The legacy he has given me, the opportunity to share in that legacy is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.  His un-ending surrender to Jesus is a lesson to me each and every moment...oh if I would only listen better.

80 years, Grandpa.  Thank you for giving your life and your breath in service to our Lord.  Thank you for loving us and wrestling with us when we were so young.  Thank you for battling in ministry and with your health with grace and love.  Let's go for 80 more!

Happy Birthday!  I love you.


Year of the Coach Day 4

What a day.  On Thursday we got into some nuts and bolts of the sharing 3D at clinics, schools, and with small groups.  We also heard from Mark Hall the presenter of the 301 material on the web-site.  He killed it.  As he unpacked more of the theology of 301 and went deeper into the "why" behind it I was encouraged and challenged.

One of the main things Mark talked about, building on Wes and Jeff, was that 3D isn't some program that you go through and then say you are finished.  Rather it is an operating system.  It is a place from which coaches are challenged to operate as a coach.  In other words it isn't just something you can grab, implement and then move on when you are finished...rather it is a dynamic process of transformation that challenges the coach to coach and 'operate' differently.  This isn't just something a coach can use as a coach and then separate from the rest of his/her life.  That spoke volumes.  My small group spent some time talking about that, reflecting on what that meant for sharing, as well as what that meant for ministry, follow-up, and more.  It also helped me to not feel like it's one more thing that I have to add to my plate, this 'program', but rather it can become my operating system throughout the entirety of ministry within FCA in Portland.

Another thing that Mark shared was the formula for change:

Change = Discontent x Vision x Next Steps > Resistance

I love this.  First, it's a reminder to slow down.  We need to put a good plan in place.  Second, there has to be a clear understanding of where we are going, of what the preferred future is.  Third, it's a reminder that there will always be resistance.  I love the discontent piece as well...a little holy discontent plays a huge role in seeing change come about.  If any of these is "0", then there is no change.  I want to see change; and if I want to see change, I have to put in the hard work of casting vision, creating discontent, and crafting the next steps...only in doing so will I be ready to overcome the resistance.

Today, we'll head home...and then it's time to get to work.